yes. its chinese new year. but im not that excited about it. first cny away from singapore. feels oddly weird. like CNY never actually existed. anyhow. to those who are back home in singapore, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! *grumblegrumble

oh. and how can i forget. happyvalentinesday to all those who actually bother to celebrate this day like its so important. (its really not.) i am pretty damn sure valentines day was just a ploy to make people like you (yes you!! the one looking all disgusted at me for saying its just another stupid day) spend more money on useless things. and so for girls to ask their boyfriends or guyfriends or husbands or whatever the hell that they are dating to buy them something. hum. oh wells. guess it doesnt really concern me. haha. helps the economy anyway.

went to stock up on food today and did some email clearing. decided to try and clear my outrages 510 pending friend requests on facebook but gave up after ignoring 150 of them. SERIOUSLY PEOEPLE!! please add me only if you ACTUALLY know me. and if i ignored your friend request, do not add me AGAIN!! *slapshead.

and, thank you for the flowers. it was really sweet. although it did scare me for abit before you told me it was you who sent them. maybe next time it would be cool to include your name on the card instead of saying its from a friend. and the other two owners of the flowers, please own up soon too. this is totally creepng me out.

and btw, i hate roses. thought maybe you guys should know that. find them too common and meaningless.

but, to you who sent the POT (yes, pot. heavy. yes) of beautiful white lilies, thank you very much. i do feel better and i do appreciate that. (: (i appreciate you telling me that it was you too, SO THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE WHO SENT THE OTHER TWO BUNCHES OF ROSES PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELVES or im throwing out the roses by 12midnight tmr.)

on to the next topic. my shitty blackberry curve is giving me problems. *grrrrrrrrrr. im terribly annoyed. it keeps freezing on me and telling me its time is up and i should totally prepare myself for the worst. *sniff.

an update of my friday night. decided to head out to meet lucy for dessert (yes, literally) and i was running late because.. *shrugs. just because i was running late. HAHA!! got there. met gabriel. thought he was gay. he isnt gay. oh wells. haha. chit chatted. made me miss hongkong a little. *sighhhhhh. during which, this weird guy ALEX kept texting lucy asking her where she was and what she was doing. and apparently, shortly after, he called her and made a really sarcastic remark that i would think only elementary kids are capable of. while lucy was trying to tell him we were having dessert, gabriel received a call from someone who was next to weirdassALEX asking if lucy was with him or blah blah blah. i got annoyed and decided to just call ALEX and tell himvery very very specifically where we were, who was there, where we were heading next.

i said that we were all going to a drinking place after to chill and relax. (okay fine, i left out the chill and relax. i said we were going to a drinking place) he told lucy, he’ll be there at 10pm. there. happy now? everyone is clear of what the plans are and who was where and whatever. so once dessert was done, we headed over to last call. it was an okay place. and shortly after, ALEX and charles arrived. charles was unwell so he didnt drink, which was actually understandable and a good choice. (although i drink even when im not well, but you know, person choice). i respect it. unwell, dont drink. (:

BUT

ALEX WAS NOT UNWELL OR SICK

AND HE SAYS

‘ oh, i dont want to drink..’

no. seriously. are you kidding me. I SAID WE WERE GOING TO A DRINKING PLACE. why did you bother to come, if you were not going to drink. its not like your company was enjoyable enough for us to overlook the fact that you didnt want to drink. i cant find a reason why you would go to a drinking place if you didnt want to drink. and further more, you are not even a socialable person. much less likable. so. in future ALEX, just a tip. dont go out to a drinking place unless you actually intend to drink ALCOHOL. (:

okay. im done ranting about that weirdo.

we still had fun anyway. and i engaged in a really interesting conversation with charles. we have to do that again soon babe!! (: an hour or so later, jimmy and tommy came (i know right. they sound like some cartoon character). and they were not the least bit weird. (unlike you alex. yes you. if you are reading this. its you) we had fun. talked. played KIDDISH GAMES. wtf. since when was fiveten, dice considered KIDDISH?!! i dont recall any 10yr old kids playing these drinking games. so alex, once again. if you are reading this, either you’re fucked in the brain or the kids you saw playing drinking games dont have very awesome parents. *hummmmm.

oh oh oh!! IM SOOOOO ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH MY OUTFIT. haha. but apparently xs mango was so loose for me i had to push the sleeves alllllll the way up. ):

okay. enough ranting. picture time!!

yeahhhhhh!! and the rest are all just ME ME ME ME ME!!

im totally in love with ME. so. sue me. *snort.

okay. thats it. i know you want more but i cant be posting toooooo many pictures of myself. im selfish. *teehee

alrighty.

the end.

yours truly,

calista faye

i was on youtube searching for a japanese song and happen to come across this video. i am aware that the video was posted in 2008 BUT i still think its appalling that such a law exist in this world.

any thoughts? *hum.

yours truly,

calista faye

*slashed jeans and layer-ed tanks, casual sunday.

instead of always wearing dresses and looking like a prissy bimbo, i decided to dress differently for a casual sunday with the girls for superbowl night. went to closet and grabbed the first things i saw which surprisingly, matched well. i was almost certain i would never wear what i was wearing if i was not feeling like a change was needed. hum.

im sure a all of us have friends. but the real question is, how many of those friends are real?

how far would they go for you if you were in trouble? how much do they really care?

go on the internet. how many social websites do you see? too many. there are popular ones like facebook, myspace, friendster and twitter. how many friends do you have in your account. are all of them really your friends? let me re-phrase that to make it less difficult for those of you who has a brain that functions at the speed of snails crossing the street (which means, SLOW.).

how many people in your facebook account would stop everything they are doing, put their lives on hold just because you called and said you’re in trouble and you need their help?

dont lie to yourself. just scroll through your friend list with a piece of paper and a pen. write down the names of the people that you think would do that for you. how many names do you see on the paper?

i am pretty sure the number of names on that piece of paper is lesser than the number of fingers i have on both hands.

if yours requires a third hand, you’re lying to yourself.

i, for example, have like 1,164 friends in my account and 499 pending request. but how many of these people really care about me? if i need help right now, which of these 1,164 people would do everything they can in their power to help? i know it sounds like im being such a bitch right now, whining about how nobody cares when people obvious do since they do show concern when my status starts becoming depressing. but thats not what im talking about. what i mean is, what if something really bad happens like i have no where to stay and i dont have a job? what if i needed someone to help me get started so i can stand on my own again?

i am happy to know i have a few who will. (please do not comment on this post telling me that you made a list of people who will do all these for you and 3/4 of them are your family members.) and i appreciate them for being in my life.

you see, there are three kinds of friends in our lives.

- friends

- close friends

- true friends

* the breakdown

FRIENDS

they are the ones you call when you want to gather a huge ass group of friends for a big night downtown for fun, laughter, drinks and just getting wasted. your conversations are mostly about how hot that guy is and the occasional juicy gossip. its more dancing and alcohol, less talk. if something really bad happens to you, they normally find out when they log in to facebook and reads the updates.

CLOSE FRIENDS

you hang out with them a alot and you see them pretty often. you do share alot of secrets with them and talk about alot of things. however, there will still be certain things you would think twice about sharing with them. if something really bad happens to you, they normally would know either because they were with you or you called/texted them because you needed to talk.  either way, they will be fully aware of your situation and would most likely comfort you and tell you everything is going to be okay. and its not as bad as it seems, and maybe you should go to sleep and when you wake up tmr, it a brand new day. and life goes on as normal for them after your conversation and you would have to deal with the reality yourself when you get up the next day.

TRUE FRIENDS

they are the ones you dont have to see everyday or hang out with every single minute. but when you are in serious trouble, they are the ones who will drop everything that they are doing and rush to be by your side. they will hold you tight and let you cry it out, dry your tears and tell you,

‘ i know its hard and you are scared, but you have to be strong. its not okay now because everything is a mess, but it will be okay and i will be right here, taking every single step with you..’

and with that, they are the ones who will take you out of the mess and set you straight and help you start all over again. they will hold your hand and walk you through the darkest moments.

so, who are your true friends? they may be harsh with you sometimes, and say the things you dont want to hear. and often, its the truth that you dont want hear. but think about it, would you rather someone tell you everything is okay when deep in your heart, you know its not? or someone who is willing to hold your hand and face reality with you? take your pick. but do keep in mind, learn to treasure the friends who are true, because finding a true friend is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

yours truly,

calista faye

how do you judge a relationship that you were not in? you cant, its like trying to tell someone how truly beautiful the niagra falls is without having ever been there. yet why is it that everywhere i go, i hear people judging other people’s relationship. who was wrong, who was right. and its all based on what they know of the relationship. what they have heard, what they saw or what people told them. but if you stop for a second and think about it, how much do you really know about this relationship that you are judging? were you part of this relationship, or just someone who stood at the sideline and watched the people in this relationship?

its funny how whenever it involves matters of the heart or the word “love”, we cant seem to apply the common logic that we use in every other aspect of life. there is no law, there are no rules.

often when a couple break up, the people around them gather to discuss who was at fault. who was the villian and who was the victim. (please do keep in mind that im obviously talking about two perfectly fine human being who has a brain thats filled with functioning braincells, and obviously relationships that dont make it to the headlines of your local newspaper.)

RELATIONSHIP ONE

tom and mary were the perfect couple. they were so loving and their families get along. everyone around them approves of them. it was perfect. and one day, they broke up. because tom found out that mary cheated on him. and everyone starts to talk and discuss. logically, mary cheated so that makes her the villian. and tom, the victim. its a no-brainer.

but thats only the surface of the relationship, the part that all of those who are NOT actually in the relationship sees. what about the parts beneath the surface? dont they count as well? so why was this relationship judged only by the superficial knowledge you have and not what it was really made of?

tom and mary met when they were young, 14? thats young. tom fell in love with 14yrs old mary and forgot that one day, she’ll grow up. and when people grow up, they learn new things, they see a bigger world, they want to do greater things and experience what they have never experienced before. will tom love her even when she starts to grow up? no. he wants her to remain as the girl he fell in love with. a young innocent teenager who knew nothing much but school, him and family. and because she loved him, she tries. and everybody knows, that there will be a day when you’ll just be so tired of pretending to be someone that you’re not just so that the person you love wont be hurt. there will be times when you would just want to be yourself. and so does mary.

if you had to judge this relationship now, what would it be? was she the villian and him the victim? or the other way around. hard to decided isnt it? because now that you look deeper into their relationship, you realized you cant find the point where either of them decided to hurt this relationship knowingly. all you can find, is how both of them loved this relationship in their own ways. but you cant stop a person from growing up or force someone to love a person who’s different from the one they fell in love with. is there really right and wrong in relationships? yes and no. does that answer your question? *wink.

yours truly,

calista faye

*dont fall in love with me, i’ll break your heart..

i was just thinking back to the days of coccolatte earlier on, and realised how much i miss it. HAHA!! it was awesome and just thinking about it brings back the warm feelings from before.

p.s ( ivan, your mixes are still awesome!! *teehee)

that actually reminds me that i should really go dig up those old ass pictures in my old hard drive. *wink. cause im not too sure where i left them. but i’ll find it for sure babe. (:

i remember how shy you were and so innocent. HAHA!! im sorry ivan, i just have to. i seriously cant help it but since im writing a post right now, i might as well relate the moment here.. *teehee

After finishing up at the club, you packed your stuff and waited for me outside while i finish up my stuff and tying all the loose ends in the club. And poor you, that night alex and i had to discuss something so i took so long and you had to wait by the riverside for me. LOL. i still remember i was complaining so much that im soooooo hungry, so you took me to upper thompson for meeeeepoookkkk!! *yummmy. and the uncle kept forgetting to put chilli in mine. ): than you had to eat mine, so i could order another one. HAHAHAHA!! (yeah, you are a sweetheart, though i never actually said it..)

That was probably the first time we actually REALLY talked since i started at the club. (aye, its not easy managing coccolatte okay!!) !@#$%^&* always have to plan so many things and events. HAHA. and plus, you’re always so quiet. you leave like right after you do your last set. *grrrrrrrr.

Butttttttt, yeah. so that night, you actually sent me home and we sat under my block and chilled.

AND AND AND, all of a sudden..

ivan : can i ask you a question?

me : yeah..haha

ivan : can i kiss you? *looks at the empty space somewhere in between us..

me : aye, dont ever do that okay? dont ever ask a girl if you can kiss her. just kiss her and if she doesnt want it, she’ll back away. if she kisses you back, it’ll be romantic. HAHAHAHAH

ivan : oh, really? i thought i better ask you cause you look like you will slap people

me : HAHA!! next time you try again okay?

ivan : means?

me : *still thinking how silly and cute you are.. (INNOCENT BOY)

ivan : *leans forward and kisses me.

i didnt back off. (: cause you were so sweet and innocent. HAHAHAH!! makes you cute.

oh man, good memories.

we HAVE alot to catch up on yes? *grinnnnnnn

yours truly,

calista faye